Bedding the Billionaire Read online

Page 17

 

  He caught Lil watching with fascination and actually blushed. “That’s how you make me feel,” he said simply.

  Lil almost knocked over her box of supplies, catching it at the last second. She looked at her own sketch and wondered what he thought of the fact that she hadn’t included him in it at all. She had drawn herself, serious and determined, looking miserable with Colby clutched in her arms while she chased Abby. She wasn’t even entirely sure what the scene meant, only that it had poured out of her and now stared back at her, revealing something she wasn’t sure she wanted to discuss with Jake.

  Jake studied her sketch for a moment and said, “Don’t take an office job, Lil. ”

  She searched his face.

  “You’re already the mother Colby needs. ”

  Lil looked quickly at her child, who was licking the green paint off one finger, then back to Jake. “I’m not, Jake. I haven’t been the person I need to be, but I am changing that. ” She thought about how part of becoming a better person had involved killing any chance that something real could develop between them. Forgetting, even for a moment, that her friends were using this time to access Jake’s private accounts would only lead to more heartache. She had to remember that none of this was real. “The older I get the more I wonder if anyone has the answers or if, like me, they are just doing the best they can and praying every day that it’s enough. ”

  The seriousness of her response set Jake back on his heels. He opened and closed his mouth without saying a word.

  Carmen had gone from mother to mother and discussed each creation with the novice artists, until she came to Jake and Lil. She correctly interpreted the tension between the two and took them by surprise by reaching out and taking each of them by one hand. For an uncomfortable moment, she simply held them and then nodded without saying anything, giving each hand a comforting squeeze before letting go.

  Carmen returned to the front of the group and began to share her observations, but Lil wasn’t listening. She was lost in her reaction to Jake’s sketch and in his response to hers. Of course, someone like him would think she had options besides taking a job she already dreaded, but that only highlighted how little they had in common. Although it was flattering to be considered someone who added color to his life, she’d already made her choice.

  His picture would have been quite different had she confessed the real reason they were together that day. Would it have shown her being led to the gallows? Or, just as painful, would she simply not have shown up at all?

  How did betrayal look in charcoal?

  Colby let out a cry of frustration and Lil had never been so happy to have an event interrupted.

  “She’s probably hungry,” Lil said as she headed toward her child. She used the supplies provided to clean Colby off and put her back in her stroller, then gave her address to the instructor who said the artwork would be mailed to her.

  The visiting artist approached her. “Lil, right?”

  “Yes,” she said, not really wanting to engage in a conversation with someone who had seen more than she showed most people.

  “Your work was very moving,” Carmen said.

  Lil dismissed the comment as polite small talk. “Thank you. I’ve always enjoyed sketching, just for fun. Nothing serious. ”

  Carmen continued, “You captured a lot of emotion in just a few crisp lines. You have a gift. You might want to explore it. ”

  Anger flooded in and added bite to Lil’s words. “I’m taking a different road; one that I’m happy about. ”

  The artist did not waver. “Honor the message you heard today, both from yourself and your man. ”

  “He’s not…”

  Carmen smiled and shook her head. “Art never lies. ”

  Unlike me, Lil wanted to say.

  Alethea and Jeremy had better be finished whatever the heck they were doing because she needed to end this date. It was simply too painful.

  Lil was double checking that she had everything she’d come with when Jake walked over to join her. Lil said, “Well, this was…” She paused. Painful? Awful? Torture? “Nice,” she finished lamely.

  He rolled one of her loose curls around his finger. “When I imagined this date last night, you were smiling at this point. ”

  Lil tried but failed.

  Confusion swirled within her. Was she hoping Jake was innocent so she could believe the side of him that he was showing her today? Or that he was guilty so she would feel less awful about what she’d done? Neither outcome held much comfort for her.

  He put an arm gently around her waist and together they thanked everyone and exited the room. Jake guided her out of the building and onto the sidewalk. “Are you ready for lunch?” he asked.

  “I really should be getting home. Colby will need a bottle and a nap…”

  With his arm still around Lil, Jake said, “Just one more place. Then I promise to deposit you back at your penthouse. Do you have formula with you?”

  She considered making an excuse why she couldn’t go, but today was already more of a lie than she could stomach. “Yes. ”

  “Let’s walk then,” Jake said.

  They stopped in front of the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, the once private home of a woman who had collected art from all over the world and donated the building along with her collection to the city. Although the building had undergone renovations and modern additions had been added, Jake led her to an old entrance.

  “Have you been here before?” he asked as they entered the museum and were instantly met by someone who ushered them down a dark hallway and through various rooms that were filled with an eclectic and mostly unlabeled art collection. Normally Lil would have asked to stop to savor some of the many works, but she was determined to end this day at the first opportunity.

  When the inner courtyard came into view she almost forgot everything beyond its beauty. Stepping into the long, rectangular courtyard revealed the true an Italian-styled palazzo that had once been nothing more than a private home of a very eccentric and wealthy woman. The garden was a visual feast of flowers, statues, and old world architecture. Elegantly dressed staff met them as they entered the area and led them to a sole table set up at one end of the courtyard, hidden from public view by flowers but positioned so that once seated they would still have an incredible view of the area. Candles lit what would have otherwise been a darkened corner.

  Lil had heard of the museum before and the quirky history of the woman who had built it and then donated the building to the city. She’d always meant to come see it, but somehow never had. She was reasonably certain, however, that the courtyard was normally closed to the public. Of course it wasn’t closed to Jake. She didn’t imagine many places in the world were.

  Colby’s needs overshadowed the romance of the location at first. Lil sought a place to change her, then asked the staff to help her prepare a bottle. Jake sat across from Lil, appearing to wait patiently while she fed her daughter and then settled her down into the stroller for a nap.

  When Lil finally settled back into her seat, she expected Jake to be irritated with her, but found him looking rather pleased with himself instead. He said, “I had a cook prepare a meal for us. I hope you like beef tenderloin. Normally, I would ask for your preference, but it would have ruined the surprise. ”

  He accepted a glass of wine from the staff, tasted it and nodded in acceptance of it. “Do you like it?” he gestured with the glass to the area around them. The server offered to fill Lil’s glass, but she shook her head. The last thing she needed was to relax her tongue.

  Do I like it?

  The setting was unimaginably beautiful, the staff was attentive yet unobtrusive, and the space provided enough quiet for her daughter to sleep while they ate. Who wouldn’t love being treated like visiting royalty?

  Only a woman who had no right to enjoy it.

  She couldn’t look him in the eye. “It’s beautiful,” she said.
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  He took both of her hands in his and waited for her look up from the table. When she finally did he said, “Why do I get the feeling that there is something wrong?”

  “Today was beautiful, Jake. I mean that. The way you included Colby into our day together…” She motioned to the garden around them and the staff that perked up as soon as her hand raised. “All this. . . ”

  “Your daughter is your priority. ” His expression held a bit of longing.

  Why are you making this so hard? “You have to see how this wouldn’t work. ”

  “Why? Because I don’t love you?”

  Ouch.

  Lil pulled her hands out of his. “There’s that. ”

  He opened his napkin and placed it on his lap. “Love is a myth perpetuated by people who don’t have anything better to believe in. You’re fantastic in bed, you make me laugh, and I enjoy your company. That’s enough for me. ”

  Sadly, he probably meant what he was saying.

  “That sounds like the last, valiant declaration of a man about to lose his heart completely,” she scoffed.

  Instead of brushing her comment off or picking up the challenge, he gave her that steady, unblinking look she was beginning to understand meant that his mind was set to his course. “Maybe,” he answered.

  More on the subject was interrupted by the food arriving. Delicious as it looked, Lil couldn’t imagine putting anything into her churning stomach. She finally toyed with a piece of beef enough to bring it to her lips.

  “Move in with me,” he said calmly.

  Lil dropped the fork to her plate with a loud clatter along with the meat she hadn’t tasted. “We discussed this. ”

  The strong set of his jaw and the proud look in his eyes told her that he wasn’t going to let her brush the topic aside. “Not because you might be pregnant. Move in because you want to fall asleep in my arms at night and wake up next to me each morning. ”

  Lil hedged, “I have Colby…”

  He said, “Don’t hide behind her. You know I could more than take care of both of you. She would have the best of everything. ”

  Except his love and what kind of life would that be for either of them? “For how long?” Lil asked.

  He shrugged. “If you’re looking for promises, I don’t have any. If it’s your financial future you’re worried about, I’ll have my lawyers draw up some sort of settlement to remove that concern. ”

  There’s the Jake I know. Lil tossed her napkin onto the table and stood. “Wow, you’re about as romantic as my car service plan. ”

  “Sit down. Lil,” he said in a tone that probably worked on people who cared about pleasing him.

  Lil was unimpressed. She leaned one hand onto the table and looked him straight in the eye. “No, I will not sit down. Did you seriously just offer me a settlement to ease my pain on the day–whichever day you choose–when you throw me out?”

  His explanation was lacking. “It’s quite common to think about…”

  Lil gathered her purse, took her baby stroller by the handle and started to leave. So as not to disturb Colby, she lowered her voice, but her tone remained angry. “Maybe it’s common in your world. Not mine. I’m one of those poor sops, I suppose, who has nothing better to believe in than…than…”